Troops Deserve Support: Let's Not Forget the Sacrifices They Are Making
Ventura Star, August 29, 2005
By Terry Paulson, PhD

Even after reading about the newest terrorist attacks and scanning the names of the soldiers lost, it's all too easy to just go back to work and resume my life. But this week, story after story have brought home the costs our soldiers are paying for fighting our war and bringing freedom to Iraq.

Reservists have been forced to leave careers, homes, and family behind to once again serve our country. One reservist was forced to pay $80 per extra bag of luggage just to get to his base. After being selected for extra screening by TSA security personnel, he felt more like a terrorist than an appreciated soldier.

Between 17 to 30 percent of returning soldiers have stress-related problems. Some have episodes of violence. Still others suffer in silence with recurring flashbacks and nightmares. Still more have trouble coming home and connecting with people who don't understand what they've faced.

One soldier described the silence that fell over his family when he admitted that he had killed in combat. "There was sadness in their eyes," he said. "It still bothers me today." Will their reaction contribute to a fatal hesitation the next time he faces an enemy combatant?

World War II studies indicated that it wasn't the fear of being killed, but the fear of killing that was the most common cause of failure to engage in the battle. The adrenalin rush of war is often followed by strong and pervasive emotional reactions. Some wounds can take years to resolve.

Next to a picture of a Vietnamese soldier with his daughter left at the Vietnam Memorial Wall, an anonymous soldier left this note: "Dear Sir, for 22 years I have carried your picture in my wallet. I was only 18 years old on the day we faced one another… Why you didn't take my life I'll never know. You stared at me so long with your AK-47, and yet you did not fire. Forgive me for taking your life. So many times over the years I have stared at your picture and your daughter, I suspect. Each time my heart and guts would burn with pain of guilt…. Forgive me, Sir."

That Vietnam Vet lived through an unpopular war. On his return, he was just as likely to have been rejected than to have been publicly congratulated for his sacrifice and service. We can't let that happen again.

Thankfully, soldiers today are given more help in coping with the world of combat and their return home. Conversations about taking another's life in combat used to be seen as rude; those were things you kept to yourself. Today, military leaders are finding that the discomfort of such conversations early can save soldiers from years of guilt and post-combat reactions. As a result, soldiers now struggle with the tough question-How do I justify killing an enemy in combat? Some talk about faith issues. Others say, "If we don't kill them over here, we'd be killing them back home." Many talked about taking more risk themselves to avoid the unnecessary death of innocent civilians. I'm sure our soldiers are glad to hear President Bush talk about how just and critical their mission is. I'm sure they value the support of their own officers, but I fear they may be wondering whether public support is wavering.

If receiving silence from one's family can bother a soldier, I wonder how our soldiers feel seeing coverage of Cindy Sheehan's vigil in Crawford, TX? She certainly has a right to her opinion, and she speaks for some Americans who disagree with the war in Iraq. An anguished mother grieving the loss of her son can even be excused for some extreme statements, but I can't help but wonder about the feelings such demonstrations generate. Our soldiers know what happened to the men and women who returned from Vietnam. Are they wondering whether it will be the same for them?

Vibrant debate is healthy, but our soldiers also need to see our support. No matter how you feel about Bush's decisions as Commander-in-Chief, once our soldiers are in combat, we have a responsibility as Americans to support the soldiers we have put in harm's way.

In the future, these soldiers will return to our communities. They will be working next to us in our companies. They will be joining us at our family gatherings. Yes, exercise your vote at election time, but never forget to thank and honor the warriors who fight for us. Some have paid the ultimate price. Others will pay a cost not so easily seen. They deserve our love, support and thanks. So the next time you see a soldier, shake their hand and thank them for serving. This isn't just their war; it's ours. May we never forget that they fight for us and for the freedoms we treasure.

Dr. Terry Paulson is a psychologist, speaker and author of The Dinner: The Political Conversation Your Mother Told You Never to Have

—May we never forget how truly blessed we are!